CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
