And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
