Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
are you so shy because you have an std?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
