They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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