we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
