my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
