That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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