Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
time to smoke my breakfast
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
