And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
