Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Randomize
