Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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