Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
