erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
