went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
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