Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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