If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
