Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
