worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Your shirt... Was in my pants
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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