that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
