Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
