so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
