I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
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You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
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All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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