Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize