im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Also, beer. Big fan.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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