Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
