So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
