Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
