This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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