My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
