just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
