C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize