I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Rumble strips road head = magical
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
