I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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