Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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