Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize