elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize