Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
