Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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