I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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