Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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