I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
