so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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