So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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