I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
