It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
