Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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