i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
i now understand why vodka
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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