I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
