hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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