your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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