So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
