I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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