He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
