We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH