I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.