You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
