3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
