Texts From Last Night

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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.

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  (309): I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before. http://tfl.nu/3qsf
  Replies (8) Good night (662) Bad night (1383)
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  (714): View more from California

  I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.

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  (714): I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy. http://tfl.nu/mwni
  Replies (11) Good night (1532) Bad night (3588)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  My mom found a condom in my purse

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.

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  (513): My mom found a condom in my purse (513): Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse. http://tfl.nu/gxhf
  Replies (47) Good night (829) Bad night (4911)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.

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  (203): I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now. http://tfl.nu/m857
  Replies (12) Good night (4647) Bad night (911)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one

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  (908): considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one http://tfl.nu/66eb
  Replies (29) Good night (1136) Bad night (6665)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.

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  (702): Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better. http://tfl.nu/sd76
  Replies (11) Good night (4918) Bad night (1385)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.

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  (618): Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing. http://tfl.nu/8pmo
  Replies (5) Good night (1129) Bad night (1908)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.

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  (860): You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool. http://tfl.nu/a5su
  Replies (11) Good night (3010) Bad night (1158)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.

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  (734): They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you. http://tfl.nu/tuzf
  Replies (5) Good night (2454) Bad night (938)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.

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  (419): Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing. http://tfl.nu/8u2a
  Replies (14) Good night (1493) Bad night (572)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos

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  (812): I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos http://tfl.nu/whu2
  Replies (13) Good night (1146) Bad night (798)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.

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  (616): just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day. http://tfl.nu/tw65
  Replies (4) Good night (764) Bad night (625)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.

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  (214): White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs. http://tfl.nu/ocpx
  Replies (6) Good night (748) Bad night (348)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.

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  (989): I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom. http://tfl.nu/avdp
  Replies (0) Good night (402) Bad night (291)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!

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  (717): Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks! http://tfl.nu/0k6k
  Replies (2) Good night (341) Bad night (134)

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