Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.

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(310): Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove. http://tfl.nu/uua4

Replies (41) Good night (3715) Bad night (851)
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(815): View more from Illinois

just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.

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(815): just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home. http://tfl.nu/6d9n

Replies (14) Good night (651) Bad night (6774)
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(315): View more from New York

i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.

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(315): i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear. http://tfl.nu/94id

Replies (10) Good night (5351) Bad night (1225)
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(913): View more from Kansas

I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.

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(913): I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week. http://tfl.nu/re6m

Replies (15) Good night (3759) Bad night (1140)
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(630): View more from Illinois

I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.

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(630): I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing. http://tfl.nu/6g2i

Replies (17) Good night (1319) Bad night (3956)
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(707): View more from California

just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.

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(707): just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved. http://tfl.nu/zste

Replies (20) Good night (9774) Bad night (981)
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(214): View more from Texas

He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks

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(214): He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks http://tfl.nu/xm8f

Replies (6) Good night (1203) Bad night (689)
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(917): View more from New York City

I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.

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(917): I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration. http://tfl.nu/hksr

Replies (5) Good night (887) Bad night (1737)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.

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(504): U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life. http://tfl.nu/tysm

Replies (3) Good night (701) Bad night (1296)
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(212): View more from New York

The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.

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(212): The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you. http://tfl.nu/c03k

Replies (9) Good night (2444) Bad night (992)
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(619): View more from California

THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO

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(619): THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO http://tfl.nu/tlry

Replies (6) Good night (485) Bad night (863)
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(818): View more from California

Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.

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(818): Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC. http://tfl.nu/yps0

Replies (9) Good night (2089) Bad night (500)
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(208): View more from Idaho

I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.

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(208): I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook. http://tfl.nu/vmgg

Replies (1) Good night (310) Bad night (532)
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(740): View more from Ohio

Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.

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(740): Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me. http://tfl.nu/2duy

Replies (0) Good night (473) Bad night (309)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real

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(973): I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real http://tfl.nu/poa7

Replies (1) Good night (290) Bad night (522)

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