There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
