I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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