Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize