You made me cry and you don't even care
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize