first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
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woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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