if only i could text you this smell
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
